Last month, we published our first Quarantine Power Ranking, charting with scientific precision which soccer stars have been delivering the best, funniest and/or most entertaining social media content in a bid to keep the masses entertained while we're all on lockdown.
We're now a month deeper into coronavirus-enforced restrictions, so it stands to reason that our Top 10 has changed significantly with ups, downs and even a generous sprinkling of brand new entries to be accounted for.
Group training and even competitive matches may be resuming around the world, but elite footballers are still mostly confined to quarters. So what better way for them to stay entertained in between those home workouts, recovery sessions and strictly controlled meals than goofing around for the pleasure of their legion of followers? Stop thinking of an answer to that question, because there simply isn't one.
Here's the Top 10 of our updated Quarantine Power Ranking, with honorable mentions to those who have slipped down the chart.
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10. Sean O'Hanlon (
3)
Football hero celebrations.
— Sean O'Hanlon (@sohanlon23) May 9, 2020
For more videos go to https://t.co/BjLTncOfeH pic.twitter.com/PSm2lkmLzZ
Having enjoyed a smash hit with their "wonder goals recreated" effort -- which even garnered praise from former Arsenal, Manchester United and Netherlands striker Robin van Persie and play-by-play calls from professional commentator Clive Tyldesley -- O'Hanlon's two sons have added "football hero celebrations" to their backyard highlight reels,
9. Tomoaki Makino (NEW)
While not what you might call a household name, Japan international Makino lit up Instagram recently with his amusing efforts at alleviating the boredom of isolation.
The Urawa Red Diamonds defender posted a series of videos of his (largely unsuccessful) attempts to whip a cloth of his table while performing an increasingly elaborate array of tricks. Things began in fairly straightforward fashion but it wasn't long until Makino's adventures built to a surreal and chaotic crescendo.
8. James Milner (7)
When you forget what's in your background when telling a porky. #readingagoodbook
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) May 18, 2020
p o r k y #14points#reasonstohatevideocalls
Full list: @LFC pic.twitter.com/LrO6a9hpr1
Liverpool midfielder Milner topped our chart last month with a series of deliberately deadpan posts, though the frequency has petered out slightly since those heady days.
That said, we've still been treated to lots of videos of "Milly" absolutely hammering his home workout challenges, as well as the odd flash of his "boring" brilliance.
There was also the "GOAT chat" with teammate Andrew Robertson about their favourite UK sitcoms -- a discussion positively laden with some truly exquisite impressions.
7. Eric Cantona (NEW)
I felt kinda depressed when I woke up this morning even though it's my birthday but then I got this message from Eric and I'm completely stunned but obviously thrilled pic.twitter.com/ZDQ4Gil4yj
— Pete Boyle - some rare delight in Manchester town (@PeteBoyle70) April 22, 2020
Not a name you'd instantly associate with social media frippery, but Cantona has been producing some good stuff over past weeks. The surly Manchester United legend has rolled back the years with surprise birthday messages to fans and proving that when it comes to that trademark shooting boot, he definitely still has it.
6. Robert Lewandowski (NEW)
If you haven't been following Robert Lewandowski on TikTok, did you even go through lockdown??? 🤣 🤣 🤣
— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) May 4, 2020
(Those winks to camera are too smooooooth 😭)
🎥 @lewy_official / TikTok pic.twitter.com/zhdWrOqlzG
Lewandowski has catapulted himself into the Top 10 off the back of an exceptionally busy month in quarantine. Firstly, the Bayern Munich striker welcomed a new baby daughter into the world, which he swiftly marked by posting a series of "dad dance" routines on TikTok. He's been as prolific with those in quarantine as he is in front of goal.
5. Sergio Aguero (NEW)
Aguero reacted the same way as his FIFA character after missing 🤣
— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) April 25, 2020
(via SLAKUN10/Twitch) pic.twitter.com/f9YR4YRPrE
Aguero has quietly evolved into a professional gamer over the course of lockdown, playing FIFA 20 for seemingly hours and hours on end. In fact, the Manchester City striker played so much that he has even begun to morph into his own FIFA character., and is devising ever more extravagant ways to challenge himself on the game.
Aguero was even invited to take part in his very first virtual Formula 1 Grand Prix, finishing a perfectly respectable 14th in a field that included actual F1 drivers.
4. Cristiano Ronaldo (
6)
Much like last month, Ronaldo has spent 99% of his lockdown period working out -- no surprises there. However, in between all the circuits and sessions, the Portugal captain has managed to squeeze in a lot of wholesome family time too.
Leaving the rippling abdomen aside for a moment, Ronaldo flexed in quite a different way when he bought his mum, Dolores, a brand-new Mercedes for Mother's Day (even gift-wrapping it for her!).
Shortly before he departed his home island of Madeira to return to training with Juventus, the 35-year-old received the esteemed honour of being made a lifetime member of his boyhood club, CD Nacional.
3. Sergio Ramos (NEW)
Careering straight into the top three, Ramos has become a staple of the social media scene over recent weeks with the Real Madrid captain delighting us with, A) his formidable beard growth, B) his continued efforts to learn the piano, and C) his ability to do keepy-uppies while wearing Crocs.
2. Dani Alves (
)
Nothing much has changed for Alves since lockdown began, in that he has continued to share a steady stream of social media zaniness on an almost daily basis. The Brazilian full-back's content generally falls into three categories: A) doing crazy things with a straight face B) doing things with monkeys C pulling faces and making strange noises while dressed as a monkey.
1. David Luiz (4)
Providing as much value online as he does on the pitch, David Luiz has emerged as a social media titan since quarantine began, even launching his own YouTube fitness channel (as "The Geezer").
The Arsenal man has kept the shenanigans coming at a rate of knots over the past month with entertaining forays into crafty trick shots, surreal solo birthday parties, and even a bit of darts.
DROPPING OUT OF THE TOP 10
Allison Becker
Sadly, the Liverpool goalkeeper just hasn't been able to top throwing a football from his lawn up through a skylight window in his roof.
Alas, not even dressing up as a fairly convincing Disney prince can prevent Allison from slipping out of the top 10.
Jesse Lingard
Since enjoying instant hits with his amusing attempts at various viral challenges, the Manchester United midfielder has limited his output to straight-laced workout and fitness fare.
Dele Alli
Alli captured our hearts with his socially-isolated 24th birthday party, but since then the Tottenham Hotspur star has mostly been gaming and doing his best to stay safe.
Thomas Muller
After becoming the first footballer ever to sign a socially distant contract last month, Muller's everyday life has settled into a more mundane routine since. Don't be surprised if the Bayern Munich man makes a return to the Top 10 soon, though.
Antonio Candreva
The Inter Milan winger has struggled to match some of his early lockdown efforts, though rest assured his Instagram is still ticking over with lots of wholesome, patriotic family content.