It's clear that penalties -- and everything surrounding them -- have become one hell of an issue.
I was at Girona's 3-2 Champions League defeat to Feyenoord in midweek to watch two different penalty-takers fail to convert from 12 yards. Odd, I thought.
Even when I spent the day at Girona training the following Friday and mentioned my perception that Bojan Miovski never missed penalties when he was with his last club, Aberdeen, Michel, the Catalan club's coach, threw his hands up in friendly exasperation and quoted the stat at me which backed up my perception.
Then on Sunday afternoon, Girona keeper Paulo Gazzaniga saved three Athletic Club penalties -- from Álex Berenguer, Iñaki Williams and Ander Herrera -- making it four spot-kick saves from four different takers in five days.
That's remarkable in and of itself, but immediately backed up by former Atletico Madrid and Spain keeper David de Gea saving twice (for Fiorentina vs. AC Milan) on Sunday night when Theo Hernández and Tammy Abraham became the men with custard-pie faces. Previously, in the same match, Moise Kean had seen Mike Maignan save his penalty!
DAVID DE GEA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯#FiorentinaMilan pic.twitter.com/dqoorNN7FQ
— Lega Serie A (@SerieA) October 6, 2024
Two different matches played on the same day in two of Europe's top leagues and SIX different footballers incapable of slotting home from 12 yards. Bizarre.
But, I'm going to argue, the story's bigger than that.
The Sevilla derby -- where the red-and-whites and the green-and-whites fight out one of the hottest, most volatile and virulent city-splitting matches -- was settled by a spot-kick on Sunday. From a neutral perspective, it was a pretty horrible decision to award what's often nicknamed here in Spain "the maximum sentence."
In my opinion, Betis defender Diego Llorente seemed unaware that the ball was traveling towards him, his arm was not extended and, honestly, I swear he had his eyes closed.
Intention? Zero? Benefit? Zero.
Nevertheless the seething, heaving red-masses had their holy victory given that this was the last Sevilla derby of Jesús Navas' career (he's retiring at Christmas because when he trains and plays flat out, he has having difficulty walking in the following days and it's too painful to play with his kids) and, afterwards, Llorente said something piquant.
The defender argued: "The explanation the referee gave was pretty much a mockery of us as players and of the fans. Football, and this club of ours, deserves more respect."
Where the down-in-the-dumps defender has something of a point is if you go back to this summer's European Championship which Spain won. The only time La Roja were in any serious trouble was in the quarterfinal, 1-1 in extra time, when hosts Germany had their tails up, and Jamal Musiala shot powerfully at goal.
Marc Cucurella, facing the ball and in full awareness of its flight, had his arm slightly extended (below the quarter past clock position admittedly), didn't withdraw it and despite a "thwack" sound which echoed around the noisy Stuttgart stadium, referee Anthony Taylor didn't penalise the moment.
Spain won, Germany flopped out. Big consequences.
ESPN's top-class refereeing analyst, Dale Johnson, explained at the time: "UEFA's pre-tournament briefing on handballs gave a specific example just like Marc Cucurella, saying it should NOT be a handball penalty. Arm close to the side, pointing predominantly down/vertically, and/or a position behind line of the body."
Llorente quoted that same decision to Sunday's referee, pointing out that the ball had hit his vertically downward-pointing arm from closer range (i.e. far greater impossibility of him choosing to block the ball) than in the Cururella incident. But to no avail: Sevilla spot-kick, winning goal -- still greater anger, confusion and lack of consistency.
Not that this was Real Betis' only exposure to the general angst, anger and anxiety which penalties are causing this season.
There have been 19 spot-kicks awarded in LaLiga matches so far this season -- nine of which have been missed. That, to me, seems a drastically unimpressive success rate -- particularly as many of those who've failed from 12 yards in this one-v-one set-play situation which you can practice to perfection, are capable of doing extraordinary things with the football in other areas of the game.
Iago Aspas, Dani Parejo, Robert Lewandowski and Álex Baena, I'm looking accusingly at you in this respect.
But the previous Betis case in question was when Abde Ezzalzouli, their flairful winger, earned a penalty, took it and failed to beat Espanyol's Joan García on matchday eight.
I was co-commentating that match and in pole position to see the absolute face-contorting fury which transformed Betis coach Manuel Pellegrini from his usual stone-face emotionless seen-it-all state into a raging, fuming wait-till-I-see-you-at-half-time Tasmanian Devil. It was instantly clear that his incandescent rage wasn't simply about the failure to score. And, so it proved.
The Chilean made it clear post-match that there was a pecking order, that Giovani Lo Celso (who eventually scored the winner that day) was the ordained penalty-taker and that, even though Abde won the spot-kick, the kid had no right whatsoever to accept Lo Celso's generous offer that he should therefore take it.
"I didn't like what they did and I can absolutely assure you it's not going to happen again!" Pellegrini growled after the match.
So, folks, given how many are being missed and given Pellegrini's contention that rules are rules, the obvious conclusion is that it's vital to have a set, agreed, immovable spot-kick taker.
Right? Well, not if you're the most successful Champions League coach in history -- no.
Kylian Mbappe's penalty in the 90th minute completes a 4-1 win for Real Madrid over Espanyol.
Carlo Ancelotti, last season, not only had a penalty-taking hierarchy (first choice plus back-up in case of substitutions affecting that) but also made it clear that, like Pellegrini, he firmly believed that rules are rules. No free will involved for the process of penalty conversion last season in the team which conquered Spain and Europe. No.
This season? Ancelotti's gone 180 degrees in the other direction and, when questioned, admitted that Vinícius Júnior and Kylian Mbappé are fully at liberty to decide between them, in the heat of battle, dependent on mood, as to which of them will take spot-kicks.
Madrid's record this season? Five penalties awarded, five converted. Making it look that trying to be scientific, smart and forward-thinking about the apparently simple process of smacking the ball home from a short distance is plain idiotic. Just make it up as you go along.
All of this is in context of goalkeepers facing more difficulty than ever to save spot-kicks -- in theory at least. They're not allowed to move forward in the saving attempt -- or only as far as their motion will still ensure that they've got at least one foot on, or immediately above, the goal-line.
Going back in time and, on review, it feels like keepers were once practically allowed to charge down the penalty-taker, so far off their goal line were they permitted to launch themselves before the kick was taken. These days, goalkeepers face the prospect of a penalty not only being re-taken but, in that case, facing an entirely new taker so that, in an instant, they've got to perm through all the info stored in their brain about what this next guy likes to do from the spot -- low, high, chip, keeper-left, keeper-right, stutter run-up, tendency to miss over the bar.
I honestly don't know how it is that people like Gazzaniga and De Gea manage to do what they do. It's a central part of football's showbiz spectacle and the whole business of winning, awarding, scoring and saving penalties is a spectacular carnage which is never going to go away.
We'd better just get used to it. Chaos, I tell you.