You just want to read the rankings. I just want you to read the rankings, so let's dispense with the niceties. The UEFA Champions League group stages start this week, for the last time in this format before UEFA introduces the new "Swiss model" and expands the field to 36 teams.
So, I ranked and tiered all 32 teams based on how likely they are to win the Champions League. Unless otherwise noted, all stats come courtesy of Stats Perform.
Let's get to it.