On a recent Thursday in Hartford, Conn., Toronto FC goalkeeper Quentin Westberg pondered the dichotomy of wanting to reach MLS Cup on Dec. 12, but also desiring to see his family again. Meanwhile, Jim Liston, the team's director of sports science, was planning a trip to Lowe's to buy 15 garbage cans so players could have an ice bath after training. As for manager Greg Vanney, he was fretting about his team's health and the lack of practice time their schedule was affording.
Such is the life of a team as it attempts to not only navigate its way through the COVID-19 pandemic, but has been forced to do it away from home.
Due to travel restrictions between the U.S. and Canada, TFC -- like the league's other two Canadian teams, Montreal Impact and Vancouver Whitecaps -- set up a "home" base in the U.S. for the remainder of the season; Toronto were stationed in Hartford. (Vancouver Whitecaps took roost in Portland, ground-sharing with Timbers, while Montreal Impact split use of New York Red Bulls' facilities in Harrison, N.J.) This was on top of nearly every team spending nearly a month inside a bubble back in July at the MLS is Back Tournament outside Orlando, Florida.
The Reds spent about seven weeks back in Toronto as they played a series of matches against Canadian teams. In mid-September, the remainder of the regular season -- and the temporary move to Hartford -- beckoned. The vagabond nature of the campaign is what led Liston to joke that he was willing to discuss "whatever five seasons" the team has been through so far. But for Vanney and the players, the campaign has required a special kind of focus.
"A lot of what we've done here, and what we try to preach here is just control the controllables, and don't get too drawn into the things you can't," Vanney told ESPN. "Roll with it, and make the best out of whatever the situation is."
Toronto has largely succeeded in spite of its odyssey. While there was disappointment at missing out on the Supporters' Shield to the Philadelphia Union, TFC went 7-3-2 during its Hartford sojourn and finished with the second-best record in the league. But the challenges have still been immense. Simply being out of one's home environment is difficult enough, but the time spent away from family and loved ones weighs heavy on the psyche, even as Vanney has given players the occasional trip back to Toronto -- under quarantine -- to reconnect with loved ones.
"It's just very different, very challenging and emotionally exhausting," Westberg said of his experience while based in Hartford.
Westberg has arguably had it tougher than most. The TFC goalkeeper is married with four children, including a baby girl who was born in June. For that reason, Westberg and his wife, Ania, made the decision at the end of September that it would be better for her and their kids to head back to his native France so they could be surrounded by family. Westberg called it "the least bad decision," but there are difficulties nonetheless.
"I'm a very even person, and this year has challenged me a lot," he said. "I'm still pretty even, but I keep a lot to myself and for sure there's some difficult days, seeing your family [struggle] from your absence."
The inability to be home has affected the players and staff in other ways. In Toronto, there are ways of disengaging from the game. Being with friends, loved ones or even in familiar surroundings can be the best medicine in terms of forgetting a bad game or training session. But in Hartford, at the team's hotel, that escape is nearly impossible even as players try to distract themselves by reading or taking online classes.
"You don't really unplug," Westberg said. "You FaceTime family, or this or that, but it's too short. You're 100 percent focused on your soccer, and your whole day basically relies on being ready for whatever soccer activity that you have next, whether it's practice or game. It's good for your physique, it's optimal for the way you eat and the way you [train]. But mentally, you're not as fresh as your body."
That isn't to say there are only negatives to the separation. There is also an us-against-the-world mentality that Toronto has adopted, given that their players and personnel are experiencing the season in a way that is vastly different than most other teams. The team staff has done what it can to make their surroundings a home away from home, whether it's personalizing the locker rooms at Rentschler Field or having hotel staff brand the surroundings in TFC colors. The hotel went so far as to bring in a barista who could consistently give the players their coffee fix. Supporters groups have even sent down banners in a bid to convey the fact that the players are remembered.
The care that TFC takes for players has extended to families back home, with the club supplying meals to loved ones three times a week.
On the logistical side, Liston made sure that one of the gyms used at MLS is Back was brought to TFC's hotel in Hartford, and he remarked that the food at the hotel is "arguably the best we've ever had on the road."
There have also been efforts to create new routines. Assistant coach Jason Bent, aka DJ Soops, has been in charge of the pregame music selection for the past 18 months -- no easy feat for a squad that has a considerable international presence. In Hartford, Bent has set aside Thursday nights to spin music in one area of the hotel. He'll even go live on Instagram or Twitch for those who prefer to relax in their rooms.
"[We] opened it to players and staff and basically anyone that's part of our bubble to come relax, listen to music and just enjoy each other's company," Bent said. "I enjoy making people happy so if it's helping everyone even in the slightest, I have no problem arranging the set and spinning."
For Vanney, the pandemic and operating outside of the team's home market has meant any number of challenges. He said the team has used three different training facilities in Hartford, with varying field conditions. He recognizes that the trips home are vital for the mental health of his players and staff, but any breaks also mean less time spent on the practice field. The compressed schedule, which at times involved games every three or four days, has had an impact as well. Even the best-laid plans in terms of squad rotation were impacted as minor injuries began popping up.
"We end up with a lot of guys in different positions because they need special kinds of treatment or care to help them get fit and back to health," Vanney said. "So it ends up being a lot of different things kind of going on all at once, and that's been the challenge of it."
Recovery from matches has been complicated by the fact that TFC doesn't have access to the same level of facilities that it does at home -- hence Liston's emergency trip to Lowe's to fashion impromptu ice baths for the players. Then there are the different ways the players occupy themselves on the road as compared to home, especially amid the pandemic.
"There's really no life outside of the hotel," Liston said. "[At home], you may go walk the dog in the afternoon or go for a walk with your wife or friend or girlfriend or family and you're out and about. The recommendation [here] is to kind of stay put. So you've got a really active population and pro athletes, who we're asking them to be sedentary the rest of the time, kind of stay in the hotel from a COVID and safety standpoint. That's not optimal for recovery either."
There are also the creature comforts of home that are no longer available on the road, which can impact sleep.
"Sleep is the number one tool for recovery, and that's definitely been a challenge," Liston said. "We do well-being questionnaires and the scores on quality of sleep, and hours of sleep, just drop."
Another change has been same-day travel, which has drawn mixed reactions from the TFC players and staff. Vanney and Westberg are generally in favor, saying it reminds them of when they each played in France. Flying back the same night also means a training day isn't lost. Liston has a different perspective in that he prefers arriving the day before, and then leaving the same day.
"I think [same-day travel] makes for a really long day," he said. "And there's definitely a negative impact on performance, taking three bus rides and a plane ride before your game. You're getting home -- it can be 12:30, but it could also be 1:30 in the morning, and that's where you know our well-being scores and sleep hours and quality just disappear. When you have so many games in succession, you can't make up the sleep."
With the playoffs set to begin for TFC on Nov. 24, the end is in sight, even as it makes for a complex -- and even conflicting -- set of emotions.
"This is the tricky part. I miss them a lot," Westberg said of his family. "But in a way I want to see them as [late] as possible in December, because obviously, there's this idea that we want to do well in the playoffs and we want to keep going. TFC has a history of setting high standards and high expectations. It's a heavy load to carry but also an exciting one."
Win or lose, it's a season they'll never forget.