The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Messi signs for Junkeren
Assuming they monitor transfer developments in the Norwegian lower leagues, Barcelona must have been shocked to hear that Lionel Messi has signed for third-tier IK Junkeren.
However, it should perhaps be noted that we aren't talking about *the* Lionel Messi here -- rather a 16-year-old Norwegian player who has legally changed his name in tribute to his footballing idol.
Born Daniel Are Knutsen, the teenager signed for Junkeren's academy this week on his quest to someday follow in his Argentinian hero's footsteps.
"I want to say that I try as best as I can to play his way. It's possible to see some similarities, but my talent probably isn't as great," Messi (the younger) told VG.
Runar Bo Eriksen, Junkeren's general manager, confirmed that Messi will begin playing in the Under-16 team with hopes that he will eventually break into the first team.
"I joked earlier that we have to look for Cristiano Ronaldo," he added.
Diego Laxalt was born to play for Atalanta
After just one season with AC Milan, it looks like Diego Laxalt is already on the move as reports claim the Uruguay international is on the verge of joining Atalanta.
It's also been noted that Laxalt's imminent transfer is made all the more apt due to the fact that the 26-year-old bears an uncanny resemblance to Atalanta's club crest.
Diego Laxalt going to Atalanta would be perfect. He's literally their logo pic.twitter.com/V9jO9v83Gj— Nico (@nicodegallo) August 22, 2019
Laxalt has been wearing braided hair since an relatively early age and certainly the entirety of his senior football career to date.
Amazing that it's taken him this long to finally make the leap to his spiritual home.
Player tries to injure his own teammate
Ever seen a Premier League player try to hurt his own teammate before a match? Brighton's Bernardo had a good hack at Florin Andone, presumably in jest, ahead of the match with Southampton, which didn't go down too well.
Andone was evidently affected as he was sent off during the match for the most red card of red cards.
Maybe don't wind him up next time, Berny...