The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Jump to: Dani Alves getting desperate in search for new job | Petition launched to secure Cruyff's place among greats in FIFA 20 | Aaron Ramsey does molto bene in Juve's Italian quiz
Vincent Kompany suffered defeat in the first competitive game of his managerial career as his Anderlecht side got their Belgian league season off to an inauspicious start.
With player-manager Kompany starting himself in central defence, Anderlecht fell to a 2-1 loss against KV Oostende in their opening game of the Jupiler League campaign on Sunday, despite taking an early lead. Coincidentally, the last time Anderlecht suffered a home loss to Oostende was in 2005, when the name V. Kompany was also on the teamsheet.
While it's still (very) early days, it must surely have hit home for the former Manchester City captain that his trophy-laden honour roll won't guarantee him the same level of success as a manager.
In fact the omens aren't particularly good. Here's a rundown of how every other Premier League-winning captain has fared since making the move into the dugout.
- We need to talk about these awful warm-up kits
- Firmino's stunning tattoo marks summer of success
- Moscardelli ends bottle-cap challenge with his beard
Dani Alves getting desperate in search for new job
After leaving PSG at the end of the 2018-19 campaign, Dani Alves is still in the process of trying to secure himself a club as the new season continues to edge ever nearer.
Alves put out a desperate plea over Twitter recently, though it would appear that wasn't quite enough.
Someone please help Dani Alves! 😂 pic.twitter.com/BhWAtKV3y7
— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) 27 July 2019
Indeed, the 36-year-old Brazilian has now followed up by demonstrating exactly how impressive his range is by posting a gallery of Photoshopped images of himself into a variety of prospective career roles -- gardener, supermarket assistant, security guard, etc.
If only for the superb little red-and-yellow hat, we thoroughly hope Alves winds up as a lifeguard on Copacabana beach.
Petition launched to secure Cruyff's place among greats in FIFA 20
.@JohanCruyff wordt door velen gezien als beste voetballer ooit. Hoe kan in #FIFA19 (rating Cruyff is 94) het gat met Pelé (98) en Maradona (97) dan zo groot zijn!? Teken de petitie om Cruyff de waardering te geven die hij verdient in #FIFA20! https://t.co/gFeNVE0STq #Cruyff98 pic.twitter.com/lOwfgh83sk
— Koen Weijland (@KoenWeijland) July 29, 2019
A petition has been started to have Johan Cruyff's derisory FIFA rating improved to put him on par with fellow football luminaries Pele and Diego Maradona.
While EA Sports saw fit to festoon Pele and Maradona with impressive ratings of 98 and 97, respectively, Cruyff is lagging behind on a measly 94.
This injustice irked Dutch esports star Koen Weijland enough for him to launch a campaign for Cruyff to be bolstered to a 98 rating in FIFA 20.
He's even pulled some famous Oranje faces in to help spread the word.
"Cruyff is seen by many as the best soccer player ever. How can the gap with Pele and Maradona be so great?" Weiland stated, while posting a link to his petition on social media.
A total of 98,000 signatures are needed. Will you be one of them?
Aaron Ramsey does molto bene in Juve's Italian quiz
Having been in town for a week or two now, Juventus decided to put Aaron Ramsey to the test with a quiz about all things Italian.
In fairness, the Welsh midfielder more than held his own even in the face of some fairly tricky questioning.
He might not be totally up to speed on proper pizza etiquette yet, but at least Ramsey has already nailed the flamboyant hand gestures.