The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
FIFA 20 brings physics to football gaming
With the FIFA 20 release date drawing ever nearer, EA Sports have sought to whet our collective whistles by demonstrating the various gameplay features available in their latest offering.
The four main improvements include an overhauled set-piece system, a new focus on composed finishes, redesigned ball physics and a new "dynamic 1-on-1" feature that enables players to both beat opponents with fancy footwork and defend against it with greater composure.
So basically gamers get more control over the decisive moments, which can only even be a good thing.
Though sadly there's no sign of VAR yet, the new Ball Motion System will see more authentic spins, bounces and true-to-life ricochets occur during play. That also means a full array of shots from cute curlers and rasping dippers, to knuckleballs and first-time rising strikes -- however, if you're planning a Cristiano Ronaldo-style knuckleball then you'll have to get used to playing with "Piedmonte Calcio" rather than Juventus.
FIFA 20's worldwide release date is Sept. 27 2019.
Dynamo get 'The Beard' treatment in honour of new owner Harden
On Thursday the Houston Dynamo announced that Houston Rockets star James Harden was buying into the ownership group of the Dynamo, Houston Dash and BBVA Stadium.
To seal the announcement, the club did the only sensible thing on Friday and decided to Photoshop Harden's trademark beard on every member of the Dynamo's roster. Touche, Dynamo.Touche.
BeardApp > FaceApp pic.twitter.com/JlOUbyoE84— Houston Dynamo (@HoustonDynamo) July 19, 2019
The 2018 NBA MVP winner joins an ownership group led by Gabriel Brener, who purchased the majority share of the team in December 2015, and which also contains former boxing world title holder Oscar De La Hoya.
One criticism with the Harden photoshop? DaMarcus Beasley's beard looks a little too dark for a 37-year-old. Just kidding DaMarcus!
Puyol scores from downtown
Former Barcelona captain Carles Puyol has some basketball skills as he showed off a long jump shot in his back garden on Instagram with the message: "Do you think I have a spot on the FC Barcelona basketball team?"
Puyol, who ended his football career in May 2014, turned to the camera and said "Pesic" in reference to Barcelona basketball coach Svetislav Pesic, before releasing the ball and making the shot.
The 41-year-old then showed off his jersey, Barcelona's away shirt with his name and the No 5.
Spain international basketball player and Barcelona guard Pau Ribas, who currently wears No. 5 for the club, replied: "Great!!!but ..we would have to talk about you wearing the number 5!!!"
Better than Liverpool beating Barcelona?
Welsh part-timers Connah's Quay Nomads beat Scottish Premier League side Kilmarnock in the Europa League on Thursday night and it's fair to say they enjoyed it.
With the score 2-1 from the first leg, the Nomads won 2-0 to set up a second qualifying round tie with Partizan Belgrade.
Apologies for some shaky Twitter coverage tonight. Full disclosure: I was crying for most of the second half 🔴🔴🔴🔴 pic.twitter.com/95YHYej3B3— Will Catterall (@Willcatter) July 18, 2019
The celebration is well and truly on!! 🎉 🎉 🎉 pic.twitter.com/qlROtv1P47— Connah's Quay Nomads (@the_nomads) July 18, 2019
But the game drew comparisons to last season's incredible Champions League semifinal -- even if the score was a bit lower.
"Liverpool beat Barcelona 4-0 and people said that was remarkable but that was on a par with it," said Nomads manager Andy Morrison afterwards. "The gulf between the two teams is huge. We were written off and were 66/1 to win 2-0; nobody gave us a hope in hell. It is a special night in Welsh football."
Ole tries his hand at cricket
The fact England are world champions in cricket has spread to football. Even Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has given the sport a go... with mixed results.
On tour in Australia, United visited the famous WACA ground in Perth and Ole grabbed a bat. But though he connected nicely with his shot, he was caught (quite brilliantly by the way) first ball.
True although you needed to learn that a little bit when you were younger...— Edwin van der Sar (@vdsar1970) July 18, 2019
VDS with a Ben Foster burn
One of Manchester United's greatest ever goalkeepers, Edwin van der Sar knows a thing or two about what it takes to succeed at the highest level.
And he's taken to Twitter to give former United stopper Ben Foster a reminder about hard work.
Foster told ESPN FC back in April that United was "definitely the wrong place at the wrong time for me" but the Watford keeper probably wasn't expecting VDS to pipe up after he posted a nice Tweet with some of his colleagues.
Ouch, that had to hurt.